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lyrics

the unfolding of today’s events remind me that
I’m just a conduit
a junction
a confluence
an assemblage
a temporary coming together
emerging out of multiplicity.
that whatever I am is constituted out of chaos
and that whatever feels solid is an illusion,
because even though solidity insists and subsists
through moves or rhetorical beauty,
it’s a mirage.
how else could I go from the feeling of turning into brightness,
the experiential analog for how I felt
while looking across the table at you today -
to the flailing ungraspable feeling of helplessness
in less than one clock turn?
I’m left traversing the tension
between the simultaneously incompossible desires to communicate
and to hide.
although we’ve been temporarily separated
and at this point I have a closer relationship to your negative,
Please know that I’m trying my fucking best to wait for you on your side of things

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from expenditure without recompense, released December 22, 2014

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