when we go out tonight, what will we say when they ask us:
“so how did you guys meet, anyway?”
because we’ve gotta get the story straight -
you can’t say, “oh, at a bar down the street from my apartment”
when I say, “we rode the bus together for months, one thing lead to another, and now we’re in love.”

thanks for reaching out to us today, we believe that this choice will be one
you’ll think of fondly for the rest of your life:
this nice little piece of property is our best, isn’t it beautiful?
it’s nestled snugly at the intersection of the two most wonderful, breathtaking views I’ve ever laid eyes on:
lush, rapturous embodied joy and pragmatic, capitalist practicality.
once you get married and have kids, that’s when this place will really begin to work for you.
it might seem like a bit of an investment up front, but let me tell you,
these things don’t stay around for as long as they have if people aren’t happy with them!

we drove,
mixed and tangled with the sound of the open windows, faintly recognizable was a song that I love:
“But I….can’t….help….falling in love….with….you.”

this site fucking sucks.
whatever, let me check the “who’s new” - maybe someone, somewhere, will open up an account
that I find interesting.
well, just like I thought, nobody - there’s nobody out there for me.
let me increase the radius from “within 25 miles” to “anywhere”
yeah, now we’re talking: tons of people I’m interested in:
oh look, she likes existentialism, too. oh look, she seems depressed like me, too.
oh look, he likes abstract drawing and Deleuze, I think we’d hit it off.
oh shit, they all live in Europe, too bad.
let me go back to screening what there is around me, then.

you see, I’ve got this date with this girl, we’ve got a really high match percentage,
something like 98%, totally outstanding, so of course we’ve got a lot of the same opinions on things that
are really important:
do you want your partner to be kinkier than you?
how do you feel about documentaries?
how often do you brush your teeth?
i like dating websites because they get right down to it, no bullshit, enough of the small talk, you know?

i love ice cream.
i love this show.
i love this song.
I love my mother.
i love you so much.